I found this online at  by Paul Byerly.   I bolded some of the points I found interesting.

Begin article:

Most people know what happens to a man when sex is infrequent, but many don’t understand how a woman’s body responds to the same thing. The table below compares the effects of sexual frequency in men and women. Note that a woman’s changing hormones affect her sex drive too and this may mask the effects at some times of the cycle, and multiply the effects at other times.








more easily aroused

less easily aroused


less than normal

more than normal


very easy
(may climax too soon)

increasingly difficult


orgasm is stronger

orgasm is shorter and
feels less pleasurable

Clearly men and women respond differently to sexual frequency. 1 As can be seen from the information, the less often a woman has sex, the less she will want sex, the less she will enjoy sex, and the more difficult it will be for her to become aroused and climax. This has been born out repeatedly in studies of the sexual frequency of woman who go from partner to partner: these women tend to masturbate more while in a relationship than while being celibate. Apparently God designed women to become more and more interested in sex as they become more active.

Even more startling evidence of a woman’s need for regular sex can be found in Winnifred B. Cutler’s book, Love Cycles. Dr. Cutler did a number of studies comparing the menstrual regularity of different women. Her data showed a strong cause and effect between the frequency of intercourse and the length and regularity of the menstrual cycle. Women who had sex two or more times a week had the most regular cycles, women who had sex once a week were slightly less regular, celibate women were still less regular, and women who had sporadic sex, or sex less than once a week, had the most irregular cycles. A variety of hormonal differences were seen, including higher estrogen levels in the women who had regular sex. Interestingly, it was heterosexual intercourse, with or without female orgasm, that caused the changes; neither homosexual acts nor masturbation had any effect. The regulating agent seems to be a pheromone, a sort of “airborne hormone,” released by the man’s body during arousal and/or climax. Dr. Cutler’s conclusion was “How often a woman engages in sexual behavior with a man strongly affects her endocrine system.” 2

While this is interesting, it has little relevance in and of itself. Other studies and data complete the picture. Fertility is very much linked to menstrual regularity. There is also a clear correlation between menstrual regularity and overall health: the more regular the woman’s cycle, the better her overall health. The benefits of the hormonal changes in those having intercourse at least twice a week include: better fertility, stronger bones, better cardiovascular health, less depression, lower incidence of fibrocystic breast disease and uterine cancer, and a decrease in menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes and depression. 3 Furthermore, regular intercourse after menopause has ongoing benefits to both the sexual and general health of the woman.

Clearly, the Lord created women to have frequent heterosexual relations. Sporadic or irregular sex is actually detrimental to a woman’s health, while regular intercourse has great benefits. God’s “rules” for sex create the perfect situation for keeping a woman’s body strong and healthy. 

1 Note: A very few men and women report different experiences than what is shown in the chart, but the data is what most men and women experience.
2 Winnifred B. Cutler, Ph. D. (1991) LOVE CYCLES, pp 22, New York: Random House
3 IBID pp 22

Last Updated on Wednesday, 05 May 2010 10:23


  1. I read a while back that masturbation can increase a woman’s sex drive and I tend to agree with that from my own experience. Obviously I think it’s not something that you should be secretive about, but what do you think of us women using self pleasure as a tool to increase libido?

  2. Those are some interesting studies. I’m sure the results are just averages though. My wife seems to do just fine with our sporadic sex life (every four to six weeks). We even managed four pregnancies. Me, not so much.

    Celibacy being more healthy than infrequent sex, I suppose we ought to just quit altogether. I’m almost there anyway. Waiting and hoping is getting harder. Giving up and commiting to celibacy seems like it might bring some measure of peace. Anybody have any experience with this?

    • Makes me wonder how you managed to get pregnant at all. She must have stepped it up when she was trying to conceive. The reason your wife does fine with sporadic sex is just what it states in the article. The less sex a woman has, the less she wants it. I sincerely hope you don’t give up and try to live in a sexless marriage. Go over to The Marriage and sign up to read the posts in the refusal section, just to see how other people have and are dealing with this issue. I especially like Landschooner’s posts. He is awesome.

  3. Foo,

    I have contemplated celibacy to try and get some attention on the relationship, but I am way too starved when the offer for food comes around. As I am getting older and sex is getting less and less frequent, I am closer to giving it a try. I do feel that if I do this, I will be in a way giving up on having a great marriage and will put myself on the path to a parallel marriage.

    • The Marriage has a huge “refusal” section and lot’s of guys say how they’ve prayed and prayed to lose their sex drive but it doesn’t happen. This makes me very sad.

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