Taboo

Warning:  This may be too graphic for some people.  Also, I sincerely hope this post does not come off as titillating in any way.

What about anal sex?  Can we do that?  Well, I’m just a regular girl, but I say I’ve never heard anything stating that we can’t.  Hebrews 13:4 says Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.   (italics and bold mine.)  What happens in the bedroom of a married couple is undefiled.  So my personal opinion is, if you want it, do it.

What it comes right down to is personal preference.   Some people really like anal sex.  Some people think about it and fantasize about it and wish they could do it.  I hate to break it to you, guys, but I think most women  just don’t like it and just don’t want to do it.   My best friend, who is very adventurous in bed, says, Oh, nooooooo, no, no, no, that’s exit only.  Another girlfriend says she let her husband do it once and she was constipated for a week and that was the end of that.  One of my friends hates the semen leakage.  A couple other girls I know barely tolerate it on occasion.   I don’t have any girlfriend telling me it’s her favorite thing or even in the top ten.   And those are non-member friends.  They don’t dislike it because they think it’s wrong, it’s just not for them.

Now, honestly, I don’t think I could bring myself to ask any of the sisters in my ward if they do it or if they like it.  It’s still so very, very taboo.    That’s not to say no one’s doing it.  Go over to themarriagebed.com and read the thousands of posts in the “All things Anal” forum.  On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t go over there.  It depends on what you really want to know about anal play and sex.  If you’d rather not learn all the things people do, stay far away.  I learned some things I wish I could UN-learn.  But that’s not the point of this post.

My personal opinion of anal sex is that it is up to the woman whether or not it’s on the list.  We’re the ones that have to have a penis inserted into our rectum, after all.  If your wife says absolutely not, well, then, just console yourself with realizing that it is not the be all end all of sex.  It may just be the thought of it is much more exciting than the actual act.  There could be lots of different reasons why a woman doesn’t want to do it.

First and foremost, it can be VERY PAINFUL.  The first time we tried it I about hit the ceiling it hurt so much.  We didn’t use enough lube and we didn’t ease into it.  Next, the thought of DH’s penis coming out with feces on it is extremely disgusting and embarrassing.   Then there are the things I mentioned above that could happen–constipation and semen leakage.  Now throw in a hemorrhoid or two.  Oh, now THAT’S attractive.  Might even be painful.  I’m sure there are more.

However, if a couple wants to do it, go for it!  I am one who finds it arousing.  IF the conditions are right.  I have to be absolutely sure there is nothing in there that is going to come out on my DH’s penis.  If that’s the case, then I find it incredibly erotic to offer my husband ANYTHING he wants.  Give him permission to go anywhere, do anything, and let him take charge.  Make me feel just a bit dominated, maybe.  Here’s the rub.  He is ambiguous about anal sex.  I told him I was writing a post about anal sex and asked him how much he liked it.  Turns out he does it because I like it, not necessarily because he likes it.  He doesn’t dislike it, but doesn’t care one way or another.   He said, well, it’s tighter, obviously, and feels nice and there’s a certain thrill to it, but I can’t do what I want.  I can’t thrust hard and  I can’t really go for it at climax.   So actually, the once in a while that we do it is for me.  Conan the Barbarian is sure nice!

What about anal play?  Well, I don’t know for sure, but from what I’ve read, lots of women like that and are much more open to doing it than the whole enchilada.  Especially if they are super aroused.  Sometimes I get some wizzbang Os while that is going on.

What about anal play on a man?  Well, I’ve also read that many men really like it.  But I’ll tell you right now, you wouldn’t catch me dead anywhere near that part of my hubby.  Sorry.   Years and years ago I read an article in Cosmo  that said if you really want to give your guy the orgasm of his life, just put your finger in his anus at the right time and BLAMO.  I was shocked.   I checked with Conan and he put the brakes on THAT.  Thank heavens!!!  The technical stuff is something about the prostate and it causing intense pleasure to hit it just right.  I’m pretty sure that’s true, because that’s one of the things that’s very popular to discuss over at themarriagebed.com.  So if you wanna try it, you might like it!

Anal sex isn’t for everybody, but for those who like it, it’s really good.

10 thoughts on “Taboo

    • No, this is not too much. Blogs like this are helpful exactly because they are specific and honest. Honestly, I’m scared to even try anal sex so I’m impressed you like it! You said it’s erotic- does that mean it feels physically good to you now?

      • Ade: I’m so glad you said that, because I’ve been sweating it ever since I clicked “publish”. Anyway, yes, it really does feel physically good to me. That first time was a disaster, but we figured out what we did wrong (very quickly, I might add) and it turned out to be good.

  1. Hello… Thank you so much for posting about this. I don’t for a second think it is too much. And even if it was, there are tons of other websites they can visit if this one post is too offensive to them. I am glad to hear you are so open and honest and affirming in your sexuality. I love when I read or hear about other LDS people can do this. As a society, I think the LDS culture is way to repressed when it comes to sexuality, so I take my hat off to you for having the courage to write and publish this. I check for updates every day!

  2. I appreciate your blut and open discussion of this topic. While I don’t promote anal sex, I certainly wouldn’t discourage someone from trying it. Once you get over the taboo, many women and men find it quite pleasurable and women can have an orgasm from anal sex. Men can also have an enhanced orgasm if the prostate is stimulated during orgasm. The fecal concerns are more concerns than reality, and the pain factor means that you need to take it very slow and use lots of lube. If you’ve tried it once and didn’t really like it, consider waiting a year and then giving it another go.

    • Thanks for your comment, Melissa! I agree that lots of lube and taking it very slow is the way to go at first. I appreciate your reassurance regarding fecal matter. It sounds like you’re saying there’s really nothing to worry about, there. Whew! Also, when you say women can have an orgasm from anal sex, do you mean with or without clitoral stimulation? Thanks for your time!

  3. Women can TOTALLY have anal orgasms – without clitoral stimulation. They are MIND-blowing! If you’ve ever read anything about “kundalini”, that’s what they’re referring to. They describe it as like a serpent unwinding at the base of your spine, and then shooting pleasure up your spinal column and into your brain. That’s what it feels like.
    Not many people even realize such experiences are possible. Dr. Ruth said that a woman couldn’t orgasm with anal sex, but she was way off. I sure didn’t know about it, and I was so surprised.
    It just takes some practice. When it comes to anal sex, try some different positions to find what you’re comfortable with, use tons of lube (Astroglide is good), and really, really talk to your husband and let him know what feels goo d and what doesn’t. Rear entry can be painful, but being on top feels good. Do your best to keep yourself clean (baby wipes work great). Crisco combined with Astroglide actually makes a great lube for anal sex, but set some aside in a separate dish. The fecal matter contains e.coli, and you wouldn’t want to accidently contaminate a container of something you might use for food later.
    Feels weird to talk about this on an LDS site – I’ve been a member all my life, hold callings, go to the temple – the whole thing. I just think some members really don’t utilize all the tools they have when it comes to married sex. It can be really wonderful, and a great way to grow personally and as a couple. Thanks for opening up the discussion.

    • Kundalini? Huh! Learn something new every day. Are you saying you’ve actually experienced this for yourself during anal sex?

      I’ve never tried woman on top for anal sex. Sounds scary! We usually use a spooning position for this, but maybe we’ll try it that way.

      Yes, it does feel weird talking about this as a group of LDS, doesn’t it? Like I said, I don’t think I could bring myself to bring it up with any of the sisters that I know! But you’re right on the mark about utilizing all the tools we have for married sex.

  4. I love your BLAMO with his anal stim. I did actually LOL. Like you, I’m not interested in touching his back end.
    Anal sex and anal play are great. We have toys for it… We don’t employ them every time we have intercourse, nor do we have anal play every time. Since we’re being so open here – We have a dildo that sometimes works out for double penetration. Mr. DH likes to be the gentleman in the rear…
    Try reverse cowgirl for anal on top – you have much more control.

  5. This might only be too much for some LDS people because for some even saying the the word “sex” in public makes them blush! Let’s just say my wife and I are on the opposite end of THAT spectrum. We both hold Temple reccommends, hold callings, even callings that deal with the youth!! LOL. But back to the subject, yes we have anal sex.

    Not all the time, not even every other time. When it happens, it happens. My wife has to be super-turned on, but when she is, she loves it. She has very powerful orgasms thru anal. It does take some prep work and you do have to go slow, especially when you first start. And sometimes there is a bit of, (not sure how I should say this) cleanliness issues that need to be taken care of when done. But it doesn’t bother me and if your the type it would bother I’d say just pass on anal.

    For me, Do I love it? It is fun, it is different, it’s mentally “nasty” which makes it very sexually fulfilling to me. BUT if my wife said “No I don’t want to do it anymore.” that would be ok with me. There plenty of other things that are equally satisfying (and more) to me.

Thanks for commenting! I love comments!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s