Sex and getting older

When I was in my 20’s and early 30’s I thought that anyone over 40 was past their prime and done having sex.  I was just sure of it.  And isn’t that the way we are portrayed in the media?  Pretty much asexual.  Never mind that my mother married my step-dad at around age 45 and they had a great sex life.  I certainly didn’t think of my parents as sexual beings.  Somehow, though, I did think of my grandparents as sexual beings.  I always knew they had a good sex life; I could just tell.

That impression was confirmed when my grandmother told me something that Grandpa said to her one day when he was about 85.  He was in the hospital and had to stay there for about a week.  My grandmother was getting ready to leave him and go home for the night and she said, “Oh, honey, I’m wish I could stay here and just get in bed with you.”  Grandpa answered her with one question, “Naked?”  My grandpa was a virile man, that is for sure!  That gives me hope for the future!

Once I turned 40 I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was becoming more sexual all the time.    Part of that, I know, is the kids getting older.  Part of it was my sexual “awakening”, you could call it.  Part of it was I was just so darned happy that I didn’t feel like an old woman!  Or look like one!  Hey, 40 is pretty hot!

Sex is so much better now than it was in my 20’s for all kinds of reasons.  I’m more in tune with my body.  I have a much better body image.  Then there is the fact that 24 years of practice is bound to improve your game, right?  Conan the Barbarian always plays to win and  is definitely good at improving his game.

If I have any of my grandfather’s genes, and I know I do, I can look forward to 40 plus more years of great sex.  Conan, be prepared.

4 thoughts on “Sex and getting older

  1. So true. We have let Hollywood define sex as being for the young, hot and single. Worse, passionate sex is portrayed as the object of relationships instead of a sustaining influence for relationships. Sex is not only about passion, but also about comfort, forgiveness, companionship, relaxation and more. We need these when we are old just as much as when we are young.

  2. It’s not just Hollywood that defines sex as being for the young. It also has to do with hormones and cultural influences. My wife went through menopause at age 45 and completely lost her libido (hormones). But since she also believes that this is completely normal (cultural), she feels no need to to “fix” it because “you can’t fix normal”.

    • Outside the Norm:
      That is so sad! She doesn’t know that she is missing out on something special. I do have to say that I felt that way when I was younger–that it was normal, I mean. Normal to stop having sex. If men need Viagra to get an erection and women need artificial lubrication and on and on, then it must be normal to quit having sex in your 40′s, right? And it’s just the sex-obsessed people in this world who would have us believe otherwise. That’s what I USED to think. That was until I turned 40 and realized that I wasn’t going to be digging my grave anytime soon. Sorry for you.

  3. I think that it sometimes takes that time to mature intellecutally and spiritually, to be able to reason things out for ourselves, to overcome some of the wrong thinking that has been holding us back. As we have needed to work through some of these issues ourselves, through counseling and being more open to change, in order to save our marriage, we have also found a more fullfilling sex life – which has strengthened our marriage.

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