Behind the scenes of WordPress is this feature that shows me how people have found my blog, such as entering a phrase in a search engine and my blog ends up as one of the hits. This happens on occasion. So I sometimes do a Google search of those words and phrases to see what comes up. Two that interested me the most were “husband gropes” and “husband always groping”. These terms brought up my “Why is my husband always, always asking for sex, sex and more sex” blog. In it I talk about how Conan was always groping me.
When I did a Google search on those terms, I found a lot of ladies are talking about this. And it seems like the women talking about it don’t understand it and don’t really like it. I didn’t like it! Oh, it would just burn me up when he would walk by and cop a feel. I wanted him to walk by and touch my hair, my face, my hands, my back, my neck, anywhere but my breasts, my behind and my hoo ha! Am I defined as a pair of t**s and a nice a$$? Is that the sum total of what I mean to you?
One day Conan, that rrrrrrrandy little devil, grabbed some part of me right in front of my cousin. Then he casually sauntered out of the room, grinning. My cousin laughed and said, my husband is always doing that, too! He is??!!?? I said. It had never occurred to me that this might be something that all the inhabitants of Mars do. Conan is just a little more free with his groping in front of others. Usually my behind. (Well, it was my behind that attracted him to me in the first place. One look and he was hooked for life 8) ) Anyway, after that I had a little lightbulb moment and realized that Conan wasn’t degrading me or putting me on par with a piece of meat. It’s just something guys DO.
Guys always have sex on the brain, right? Well, that is focused completely on me. He takes a look at me doing something mundane and domestic like doing the dishes or cooking dinner and he thinks, Look at what she does for me. I appreciate her. I like her. I love her. She’s hot. She’s MINE! I’d like to________. Then male instinct takes over for a second and GRAB! MMM-HMMM, that’s what I want to do later. SEX=LOVE. Love, love, love, love, love.
Once I began looking at it this way I stopped being so offended by him. After that if he came by and grabbed me I made a conscious effort to respond in a positive way. Instead of saying angrily, “Stop that! Is that all you ever think about???” I started saying playfully, “Naughty! But I love you, too, babe.” Instead of thinking it was some juvenile, emotionally stunted attempt at turning me on, I took it for what it actually IS, a show of love and affection, as wacky as it seems to me. I began to turn to him, let him grab me, and then initiate some non-sexual snuggling and touching with maybe a kiss or two. NICE!! At some point down the road, I even began to grope HIM once in awhile. You should see the dopey grin he gets when I do that.
Amazingly enough, I receive lots more non-sexual touching after this change, and after I stopped saying no all the time.
So guys, if you can’t resist groping your wife, please try to remember that she likes a little romantic touching, too.
And ladies, don’t get your panties in a bunch over it. Take it for what it is. A gesture of love from this strange creature from Mars.