Oral Sex for Me, Part II

Conan called me from work to tell me one thing.  In his usual blunt and to the point fashion, he said, “Honey, I just called to tell you that tonight I’m  going to !

In other words, he’s going to do what I have requested.  So now I’m nervous!!  Have I built something up in my mind that can’t be lived up to?  What if I freeze up and can’t orgasm at all?  What if he forgot how to do it and is no good at it?  Will he keep trying until we get it right?  Maybe I should buy him the book “She Comes First”, first.  Maybe I should tell him to just forget it.

Good grief, why does this have to be so complicated?  We’ve been married for almost 24 years, for goodness sake!  Haven’t we shared everything?  Haven’t we seen everything?  Yes and yes.  Why have I built this up in my mind to be this complicated thing?  It’s not like this isn’t happening somewhere to someone at any given moment!

Giving a guy oral sex is a piece of cake.  There’s not much to it, really, since his parts are pretty simple.   And beyond that, I KNOW he likes it.  I know I like it.  I’m pretty darn good at it if I do say so myself.   The other night Conan grabbed my hair and pushed me firmly down because he knew what he wanted and he was going to get it.  I have ZERO problem with that.  I like it when he does that!  So why can’t I do the same?  Because being the receiver instead of the giver is harder than it sounds.  It makes me feel vulnerable.  It makes me feel self-conscious and exposed.  I don’t like to feel any of those things.

I think I need to GET OVER IT!  Take a chill pill and calm down.

I don’t mean to sit here and over-analyze this, but this is one more way to remove invisible barriers from between us.  To increase trust and closeness.  To show and feel love for EVERY PART  of each other.

I guess I’m telling you all this to say that even though I feel like Conan and I have a wonderful marriage and sex life there are areas in our life together where we are still growing.  Where I am still growing.  We don’t have it all together.  But we are working at that.  We’ll get there someday.  It’s a good thing we’ve had years together and by the Grace of God we’ll have many more years to get it together.  And tonight will be a good place to start.

6 thoughts on “Oral Sex for Me, Part II

  1. Years ago, I had to work to get my wife to do OS, and now she is at the point that she likes it. It’s not the be-all end-all of our sex life (like I want it to be for her =) I have always loved giving OS, and she had a lot of the same issues that you do. Zookie, you realize how much you enjoy giving him pleasure, so realize that he enjoys giving pleasure too! I receive far more than I give, and I don’t want to use this word, but I feel GUILTY for it being out of balance. I don’t want my wife to do everything in the marriage (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc) so I help out there, and I want to help out in the bedroom too! I know how much I enjoy receiving, and I want to share that joy with her! If this helps your attitude, then just look at it this way–you are GIVING him the opportunity to GIVE you pleasure! It doesn’t have to be a 50/50 balance (he’s a guy, he’s lazy like most of us!) but give Conan his chance to be the Barbarian, and look at you after you are done quivering and think to himself “Damn I’m good!”

  2. Just lay back, relax, pick one of those sexy songs and float to the music in your brain. Communicate what feels good with some sexy moans. Just enjoy. Don’t concentrate on having an orgasm, just feel the sensations. In fact – too take off the pressure, don’t even plan on having an orgasm, just use the oral as foreplay and jump in with other stimuli as needed. The more relaxed you are, the better. Just have fun and enjoy – whatever happens, don’t forget this is just a beginning, and there is lots of time to practice and perfect.

  3. Thanks for the lovely advice! I will tell the rest of the story soon. I’m very busy right now doing summer vacation stuff with the kidlets.

  4. In contrast to Blacksheep, I give far more oral sex than I receive. And, I am not complaining. Sure, I’d love my wife to get more excited about [giving me oral sex], but I love pushing her over that orgasmic edge as I kiss and tongue and work her over at the center of my Universe.
    I applaud you for taking the plunge and at least trying to relax and enjoy. I know that the more you do this, the better you’ll relax and the more you’ll enjoy it. I too am dying to hear (as Paul Harvey used to say)…The Rest of the Story…

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