I’ve been scared of oral sex. Specifically, of having oral sex performed on me. Even though I used to ONLY orgasm through oral sex, it would take quite awhile for me to achieve orgasm, and I didn’t like it (go figure). Not just that it took too long, but I was self-conscious about it. I had a negative opinion of my body, especially my vulva. I thought there was no possible way giving cunnilingus could be enjoyable, and was something for a man to tolerate, at best. Conan and I stopped doing that years ago, since we were able to bring me to orgasm so much more effectively and pleasurably through manual stimulation.
A couple years ago I stumbled across a website called The Marriage Bed. There’s a great forum there, and I found it very interesting to read about what other people were saying/doing. I was pretty amazed by all the men who waxed poetic about giving their wives oral sex. How much they love their wife’s vulva and everything about it, the sight, scent, feel, taste, everything. They especially like giving their wives pleasure in that way. I started thinking about it. I started feeling like I might be missing out on something great! I began to examine my emotions and mental attitude towards it. I took a good look at myself with a different mindset and decided that I was beautiful there, just like everywhere else. Then I decided that I wanted it.
After talking about it (and blogging about it!) Conan told me he was going to do it! He called me up one day and told me exactly what he was going to do to me that night. YIKES! As I said in Part II of this trilogy, I was very, very nervous! Well, that night it didn’t happen. Too much pressure to perform on both our parts, I believe, and things felt stilted and contrived. But just knowing that he was going to do it was a good thing.
So one night, after a short while, with no prompting or blogging (ha ha!) from me, Conan just slid down and began. It felt as natural as breathing. I was completely comfortable and confident in myself and in him. It was lovely. We both went into it with no intention of me having an orgasm, as my lovely reader, CM, advised. Well, within a matter of minutes, I was responding and orgasming. (I hope that is not too much detail!) And after Conan finished with oral, I continued to respond to other things and had even more orgasms.
A little later, I wanted to analyse it and dissect it. That drives Conan NUTS! But he relented and answered my questions and talked about it. He liked the lack of hair there. I had no taste. He liked that I wasn’t all self-conscious and freaked out. His jaw got tired, ha ha!! I liked a few things he did that I did NOT like years ago. In fact, I liked them A LOT. We were both very surprised at the speed and intensity with which I responded. I guess it’s true that our biggest sex organ is our brain. It sure seems like it in this situation!
Conan likes to say that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Well, I don’t feel like adding cunnilingus to our sex life is fixing what isn’t broken, it’s adding to a wonderful thing!
So now, I said to Conan, I want to do 69. But you don’t like that, Conan answered. We both laughed!