I was helping some sisters in my ward prepare the food for a wedding reception. The weddings of two young virgins always makes me think about the “first time”. My first time I wasn’t ignorant of sex, (I’d been reading romance novels and had read a few sex manuals and had even read a Penthouse Forum *gasp*) but of course I had no practical experience.
Anyway, I started wondering what women wish they’d known before their first time. Or, as in my case, simply before they got married. So I asked. Two of the women completely, and I mean COMPLETELY, shut down. Their body language was so strong I could almost hear it. The room went dead silent. The women looked away from me and then LEFT THE ROOM. Wow. That was my first experience with people being completely unwilling or unable to talk about sex. The conversation went absolutely nowhere, and I didn’t find out what they wished!
Here’s what I wish I’d known before the first time and before marriage: I wish I’d known it was messy and that messy is normal. I wish I’d known I could stretch my hymen over time so that there wouldn’t be so much pain and blood ( I realize that isn’t how it is for all women, but for me it was). I wish I’d known about lube. I wish I’d known about UTIs. I wish I’d known that sex is slightly animalistic–it isn’t all softness and sacred, spiritual beauty. Sometimes it is, but it’s frequently hard, intense, crazy and sweaty. It’s kind of hard to have a soft, sacred, reverent orgasm!
So I’d really like to know, ladies, what do you wish you’d known before your first time. I have a daughter, and I want her prepared.