This is the question of the night: Who’s sleeping on the wet spot?
What’s the one thing your mother or anybody else probably did NOT tell you about sex that you should know? It’s about that pesky semen. I bet you didn’t know that there was so MUCH of it. I bet you didn’t know that most of it just runs right back out of you afterwards. And as it’s running out of you, it gets all over your thighs and nether regions and puts this wet spot on the sheets. If you were like me, you probably didn’t notice the first time, due to virginity blood. But after that, Eeeewwwww, there it is. Nobody told me about THAT!
Guys are used to their semen. It’s just a part of their life. But it’s new territory for women. Some women see the fluids that come out of the body as kind of gross. There’s mucus, bladder and bowel, sweat, spit, blood, vaginal discharge and vomit. All that stuff is nasty. We may have a tendency to view this new stuff coming out of our guy in the same way. A new husband might be hurt by that. Guys, ya gotta give a girl the chance to get used to it. But girls, if you continue with the yuck factor as time goes, you’re gonna put a cramp in your love life. AND you might hurt your guy’s feelings. Sex is messy. That’s all there is to it. Get used to it.
My sister-in-law (who has had her tubes tied) told me that she makes my brother wear a rubber because it contains the “mess”. ( I mean a condom. We always called them rubbers when I was growing up!) I told her that was cruel and unusual punishment and she’d better not make him wear one every time! She promised me that she didn’t. Well, I certainly hope not. Condoms are gross and horrible. Then she said that him wearing a condom helps him last longer. I didn’t go any further into the conversation at that point, but here’s what I think about THAT bit of nonsense. Unless that’s exactly what he wants, give the poor guy a chance to get used to not wearing one, and he’ll last longer skin to skin, for heavens sake. Besides, I HATE CONDOMS. They are cold. They are goopy. They feel like a gynecological exam. Blech and yuck! If you make your husband wear a condom to contain the “mess”, you might not be making him very happy. And it certainly can’t feel that good to you, can it? Figure out a different way to take care of it!
Now back to the question of the night. I usually scoot over so that the wet spot ends up in the middle of our bed. Conan tends to scoot me back over towards my side, because heaven forbid it end up on Conan’s side of the bed. That can be a humorous little interlude in our love making as we scootch around, and neither of us is fooling the other, ha ha! I’m telling a secret on Conan. (Conan is such a good sport about this blog, especially when I tell secrets about him.) Here’s the secret: Conan does NOT like his own stuff on him. He is perfectly fine with getting it all over ME, that doesn’t bother him in the slightest (imagine that!). But once it’s out of him he wants nothing to do with it, and he will go to great lengths to ensure that it doesn’t get back on him and the wet spot is closer to my side of the bed than his.
Honestly, it doesn’t bother me that much anymore. But it USED to. I’d be rushing for the towel, making eww, eww noises about it. I’m pretty sure it didn’t really hurt Conan’s feelings, because of his sexual ADD (must get up immediately after sex to clean up. See: https://sexandtheldswoman.wordpress.com/2011/05/06/basking-in-the-afterglow/ ) But it might hurt some men’s feelings. Or if that’s not the right way to word it, it might end a wonderful time on a sour note. Anyway, I didn’t like all the fuss I made, it made it impossible to just lay there enjoying the afterglow, and so decided that I was going to get used to it and not be so squeamish about it.
So the wet spot? I guess I get to sleep on it, because Conan is sure not going to!
P.S. After writing this post and thinking I was talking about something the other pages I have on my blog links are not talking about at this moment, I found this http://site.themarriagebed.com/sexuality/sexual-play/the-mess at The Marriage Bed. I swear that I did not see this until after I wrote my post. Anyway, great article on the messiness of sex. Go there if you want some good advice on how to take care of the “mess” of sex.