A good friend of mine recommended I listen to the Dr. Laura Schlessinger Show, oh, I’d say at least 15 years ago, now. I began listening to her and really loved her. I really enjoy her no nonsense style and what she says makes sense. I listened to her because I always wanted to be a SAHM, and she was and is a huge proponent of SAHMs. She was talking about and encouraging women to do just want I wanted to do and be, so I kept listening. What I didn’t know is that Dr. Laura is also a huge proponent for MEN. She gets them. She hears from a lot of them. And she knows how to make them happy.
I enjoy Dr. Laura’s website and reading the letters she gets from listeners. While I was happily taking in all the letters from SAHMs, I would come across a letter from a man who wasn’t getting enough sex from his wife. Since that didn’t concern me, I would read the letters, but not really GET them, if you know what I mean. Same with her radio program. I heard husbands talking about their wives refusing them, but I wasn’t really listening. Along came The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I thought, you know, I should read that book. Dr. Laura seems to know a lot about being a good wife. So I bought the book. I read it. I liked it. I understood it. But it didn’t really sink in. I read it again. Still good. Still didn’t sink in. I read it for the third time and became aware that I ought to actually be following her advice, not just reading about her advice! It was around that time that all the letters to Dr. Laura I’d read, the calls to Dr. Laura I’d heard and the advice in her book came together and I GOT IT!!!
- Don’t deny yourself a good orgasm.
- But do I have to even if…? Even if.
- But my body’s not perfect! Your husband doesn’t want you to have a perfect body. He just wants your naked body pressed against him.
- Stop saying no and start saying yes.
- Be your husband’s girlfriend or someone else will.
- Don’t put him off until he decides he’s had enough, because when the kids are all up and out, so will he be.
- If he’s not horny, make him a sandwich (Conan’s favorite!).
- You have the power in the relationship to make your husband worship the ground you walk on and swim through shark infested waters to bring you a lemonade.
- Your husband wants and needs your love, admiration and respect. He also needs sex with you.
- YOU start being more sexual and then he’ll be more loving, giving, devoted, etc. You CANNOT wait for him to be more (fill in the blank) and then be more sexual. It’s up to you, the wife.
And then she said something profound on her program one day. I clearly remember exactly where I was in my car when I heard her say it. She said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “If you are refusing and withholding sex you are breaking your marriage vows just as surely as if you were committing adultery.” It stopped me cold. (Not literally, I was driving!) That struck me to the core.
And it was then and there that I really, truly changed. Everything was not perfect overnight, and things had been steadily improving, but this was the catalyst that put that improvement into mach speed.
Many, many things I say here on this blog I can attribute to Dr. Laura in some way. I owe her a great deal. Dr. Laura literally saved my marriage.
p.s. Conan likes her because she has a Harley and a tattoo. HA!