Lingerie

Shoe Dazzle!

I just bought the cutest pair of shoes from Shoe Dazzle!

They are HOT!  I love shoes.  Especially sexy shoes.  And I feel so very sexy IN those sexy shoes.   I’m very tall already, but I OWN my height and don’t mind being over six feet tall in my high heels.  Sadly, I don’t own very many pairs of sexy shoes, because Conan hates feet and anything to do with feet, including shoes.  He only thinks that feet should always be IN shoes, and that’s about as far as it goes.   😦  My high school boyfriend actually had one (yes, just one) thing going for him, and that was that he would always give me a fantastic foot rub after basketball and football games ( I didn’t play, I cheered).  Oh, I loved that soooooo much.  Conan refuses to touch my feet.  I don’t think he’d touch my feet with latex gloves on.  And my feet are not gross, okay?  They’re just fine.  No bunions, calluses, cracked heels, yucky toenails, nothing.  Just long, like the rest of me.  But I digress.

Because Conan could not care less about lingerie and sexy shoes etc, I haven’t indulged in them very much.  In fact, he thinks they are a waste of money and so gives me a hard time if I spend money on things like that, so over the years I just haven’t purchased many things that make me feel sexy.  But that is changing for me.  I want to feel sexy and beautiful, and so I’m going to buy things that make me feel that way.   That’s why I bought those fantastic shoes.  That and I’m tired of denying myself things I like just because Conan doesn’t think they’re important.

Yes, Conan does not care about lingerie.   Shock!!!   When we first got married, in fact on our honeymoon, I brought several very sexy, very beautiful items of lingerie.  Lace, satin, soft, sexy, feminine, racy, demure, red, white, black, pink, lots of stuff!  And let me tell you, I was very, very VERY deflated at Conan’s complete lack of enthusiasm when I presented myself to him in  them.  I mean, he had zero things to say about them.  Oh, except that he didn’t care and would I please just take it off.  Talk about a downer.  😦    I tried a different one each night, and got the same reaction each time, so my pretty things went into a drawer when we got home, and then a box, and then the garbage within a couple years.  😦

Now, I truly, truly wish I’d gotten a different reaction from Conan.  That was one of the things that contributed to my lack of sex drive later.  But Conan is who he is and didn’t know that.  I didn’t really understand it either, at the time.

Here’s what you do, guys, to make your wife feel good about being in lingerie for you.  Growl a sexy growl.  Tell her she’s beautiful.  Tell her you love seeing her that way.  Be enthusiastic!  That should put a smile on her face and touch her heart, as well.

I imagine most of you have had a completely different experience than I had.  You guys probably love, love LOVE lingerie and just can’t seem to get your wife to wear enough of it!   And then there are probably some really lucky couples who agree in that area, too.  The man loves to see it and the woman loves to wear it.  Lucky you!!

Ladies, do you like to wear lingerie?  Does it make you feel sexy?  Even if we don’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model (Hey, even the models don’t look like their photoshopped pictures!)  we can still wear pretty things.   I like wearing pretty clothes, jewelry, shoes, etc.  It makes me feel good.  So does wearing lingerie!  Or do you wear nothing but sweats and a ratty t-shirt to bed night after night?   Okay, so some lingerie is not very practical for sleeping in, true.  But there are lots of pretty things out there that are also good for sleeping in.  Pre-temple days I wore just a short nightie or t-shirt.  I get waaayy to hot for anything else.  Now I sleep in just the Gs.  But I know most women like to sleep in some kind of night wear.  Why not make it pretty or cute or a bit sexy sometimes?

You could always go with the hoodie-footie if you get really cold at night ha ha ha!!

Guys, do you like, love, or feel indifferent to lingerie?  Wish your wife would wear more of it?  Less of it?   Let us ladies know what you think and what you’d like.  I want to know!

And this is one girl who is going to be acquiring some fun, pretty, sexy things–not for Conan, just for me.  To make me feel good, pretty, sexy, all that.   If Conan likes it, too, all the better.

42 thoughts on “Lingerie

  1. Tell your man, “Honey, I love the shoes you got me!” Lovingly. The nicest part of your post is that you did something to feel good about yourself rather than wait around for someone else to maybe do it.

  2. I love lingerie. LOVE it. Your story about Conan’s rejection was very sad. It’s helpful to see how significantly that could affect your entire outlook.

    Surely this is something he can work on–for the good of the cause. How hard can it be to stare at a woman in lingerie and smile and say something nice? Take one for the team, big man!

    Probably the best value in it, though, is what you describe–doing it for yourself. It helps my wife get in the mood. When my wife dresses up, it means she’s already made a decision she’s open to intimacy, which is one of the biggest challenges for female arousal.

    It also got me thinking about how one particular kind of lingerie my wife got didn’t do a lot for me–didn’t show enough curves–and I made one gentle comment one time suggesting that I didn’t love it. I’ve always been clear about how much I like other kinds, but still after reading your story, I bet that one comment was more damaging than I anticipated.

    • I don’t know Strong Man, I like some honesty! My husband only says positive things and compliments me all the time. Now I don’t know when to believe it because there are some days that I KNOW I don’t look good. I keep telling him, if he never tells me he doesn’t like something or I don’t look good sometimes, how can I trust what he says? On the other hand, I have to admit, he does risk hurting my feelings by being honest.

      So, yeah, not always an easy call for you guys – I know!!!

    • I think that you saying that one thing your wife wore wasn’t your favorite, out of all that you DO like, isn’t going to be damaging, unless she’s super sensitive, Strong Man. I think you’re probably fine! My experience is quite different. My advice is don’t sweat it and keep showing your appreciation.

    • I know I am VERY late to this party but…as to the damaging comment. I know what you mean. Sometimes people just mess up and hopefully we learn from it for next time. The really tragic thing about that incident is she chose that lingerie for one of two reasons: She thought YOU would love it (bad enough fail) or that she thought SHE looked good in it and you dropped the compliment ball big time (epic fail). Can you say OUCH? Either way it turned into such a LOSE/LOSE situation for you and there wasn’t much you could do to remeem yourself in the moment. Lift rock, crawl under. 🙂 Not calling you out SM, just totally empathizing with you and thanking you for the object lesson.

  3. I have a couple of pairs of shoes that are my “sex” shoes which go nicely with some of my lingerie. I only wear them for “special” occasions. They are kind of like your picture! I could never walk in them for long. But they are great for a seduction scene and laying in a bed with them on. lol

    As a side note – my daughter borrowed one pair one time. She said “How in the world do you walk in these things?” I didn’t tell her – “I don’t – I only stand or lay in them!” TMI for her I think!

    Good for you – buying what makes you feel good. I think it’s good to do both – dress (or not dress) for our hubbies and dress (or not dress) for ourselves. I can’t wait to see your shoes.

    • You crack me up, CM! I think when I get my shoes I’m going to wear them to bed (and nothing else) and just have some fun. I won’t even worry about what Conan does or does not like. 🙂

    • OMG they arrived just now!!! They are two inches higher than I thought they’d be and they make me about 6’2″. My son is 6’4″ and I can almost look him in the eye! Sheesh!!! Maybe that’s too tall, I don’t know???? I feel like a giant in them. Anyway, I’ll post a pic later. My bestie thinks they are HAWT. Aforementioned son thinks they are stripper shoes and is dismayed and mortified that his mother is wearing them hahahaha!!! I think I’m a MILF. (naughty me!)

      • LOl, you have NO idea how mortifying it is to a child, esp. male, to think of his mother as having any sexuality whatsoever. I mean, really. MILF? I liked my mom wearing a strict librarian ponytail and sack cloth.Then there are the ones who feel the opposite (no, I don’t mean your son) and seem to be fueling a lot of erotica sales on Amazon Kindle (like every fourth title seems to be, er, family oriented). No comment.

        @CM: if I’d been your daughter, I doubt I’d’ve survived.

        Prudish of me? Hmm. Maybe it’s more about the messages the parent sends the child. Mine was a child of the 50’s, raised wicked naive.

      • I think it’s great for kids to get used to the idea of sexuality in marriage. They definitley see fake shams of it everywhere else. Do it appropriately, but too much harm is done by our efforts at suppression. The heels are awesome.

        • But (ahem) not so comfortable as to see their own mothers as personally desirable … or at least never letting on … god, that would get complicated. I was a psych major and every theory class seemed to start off picking on Freud & his Oedipal thing. His own experience IIRC was being raised primarily by a nurse/governess, which may account for his reaction to his own mother (I don’t think we covered whether she wore lingerie or hooker heels).

  4. I am on the side of, “I sure wish my wife would dress in some lingerie sometime.” I think the last time was about maybe 8 or 10 years ago.

    • Aww. I really wish I had some experience or advice on getting your wife to wear it for you. Anyone out there have that experience? What happens if you buy it for her? Probably a whole lot of “Is that all you ever think about?!?” Am I right?

  5. I love sexy lingerie, but my wife won’t wear it. It’s not modesty or anything. It’s just that she knows that when a man sees a woman wearing sexy lingerie he’s going to want to have sex!

  6. Zookie, have you tried wearing lingerie lately? I can see that a newly married man might be too impatient and not want his wife covered up in any way, wanting to see all of her. However, once he has become comfortable seeing her nude, it can become alluring to see her in something sexy. I love seeing my wife is certain panties that she has, because they accentuate her behind which is so sexy.

    It would be interesting to see what Conan’s reaction would be if he came home from work and found you doing something in the kitchen in some lingerie, and see if his opinion on lingerie has changed.

    • Chet-good thought. My tastes have evolved a bit over the years.

      Maybe even try shopping together?

      What about just doing something normal around the house in something skimpy just because it’s more “comf

      • Oops! Posted accidentally.

        Comfortable. You could act as if you’re not trying or caring whether or not you have sex-just doing stuff-cooking, cleaning, laundry, whatever. You’d have to workaround kids, but that would be way hot for me and would seem difficult for any red blooded male to ignore. You could just practice wearing the heels around for fun just to exersize your calves and refine your posture and balance-not caring at all if anyone notices they’re sexy. Like youd do it even if you were home alone. Might take some pressure off both sides.

        For those with difficult women, I wonder if buying something with specific instructions of when to wear it, not begging or asking, but expecting, might help? It’s a risk, but so is doing nothing.

        I one time just bought a collection of short skirts and tight shirts at a thrift store and brought them home for her to just try on and see what fits best. It was MY opinion about what I thought fit best, not hers, that we were trying to find out. So I could praise some things and criticize others for not being short enough, not curvy or tight enough, etc. If it wasn’t good it was because it was hiding her beauty too much. Some of the stuff was ugly and she hated it, but the activity was still fun.

        • Good ideas, Strong Man. I just might try them. I work from home, so I could even wear sexy stuff while I’m working, wouldn’t that be fun 🙂

          • Great idea! Just turn up the thermostat a bit so you don’t freeze and it could be fun. Your attitude about the lack of interest is a good example.

            Love the shoes. For me, high heels don’t do a lot for me by themselves–it’s more the feminine attitude they communicate–as if to say, “Hi! I’m a woman, and I like it–and I hope you notice me, that I’m willing to wear uncomfortable shoes so that my legs are pleasing to you.”

    • I haven’t tried, LATELY, no. I am going to get myself some sexy stuff, and we’ll just see what he thinks. Here was his reaction to the shoes today: Yeah, yeah, I’m talking baseball right now! (he was, with a couple friends of my oldest son.) Now, because he hates feet, I didn’t expect or want any different reaction, I just laughed. AND today a guy friend of mine who LOVES lingerie told me that feet gross him out, too. So it’s not just Conan. Go figure. 🙂

  7. Well,fyi,my man loves feet! I hate them though,and hate having them touched.

    I think what this post is tapping into is sexual communication,or lack of it. Those who have it can come off as very self righteous, but you can’t communicate sexually with yourself alone-it takes two. Has taken best part of thirty years and some horrible experiences to encourage my darling man to communicate with me, now he’s very sad about the lost time. It still comes and goes. I compromised,and wear ‘available’ nightwear-tank and panties-as anything else can freak him out and put him under pressure. Which kind of defeats the object.

    My point overall is that we’re all different,and these issues are also often about confidence.It seems we have got to the point where we talk about women felling vulnerable and inadequate,but rarely explore the idea that men might struggle with sexual confidence.

  8. Lacey & see-through is my favorite! Frankly, anything will do. After 19 years of marriage and three kids, I still can’t get enough of her. She’s smokin’ hot & I love everything about her!!

      • I’m already 6’2 and I have these amazing 4 inch red high heels. My husband is only 5’9. I wore them once to Baskin Robbins with him to get an ice cream. I think it was more amuzing trying to stay upright than anything, but it was a fun experience.

  9. Okay, here are my feet in my new shoes. (If feet gross you out, you’d better not look 🙂 ) I LOVE them! But they make me so ding dang tall! I’m already tall, as I mentioned, and I love being tall. But is there such a thing as TOO tall? There might be five whole men in my ward that would still be taller than me. I’m trying to get up the courage to wear these hooker shoes to church. I didn’t wear them today. I asked a couple of shoe queen friends of mine and they said go for it. We’ll see…

    xo

  10. I found some beautiful lingerie (from Shoe Dazzle, they have lingerie, too) that I just love but it’s on back order right now. I may have to find something else if it doesn’t come off back order soon.
    Just FYI, I will NOT be posting a pic of myself in it. NO, no, no. hahaha!!
    I can’t put a pic in this comment, so I’ll put a pic of the nightie in “Off topic chit chat”.
    I’m excited for it!

  11. I adore lingerie and buy it for almost every anniversary, his birthday, my birthday. Sometimes nicer stuff, but sometimes Burlington Coat Factory. It gets both of us going and I was shocked by how much he loved it when I first tried it on our honeymoon and still loves it. I like buying something that’s a little frivolous now and then and garments aren’t exactly the sexiest thing out there.

    Honestly, I’ve developed a bit of a collection at this point.

    • Oooh, lucky girl! And your hubby is lucky you like to wear it!
      I am waiting for my lingerie from Shoe Dazzle to come off back order and I am excited to wear it. Even if it does nothing for Conan, it’ll make me feel good!
      Thanks for stopping by and thanks for your comment!

  12. Sometimes, you have to tell your man how you want and need to be treated, and I think that’s OK as long as he’s receptive to it. DH doesn’t like lingere either (although weirdly, he likes when I wear leotards and swimsuits) but I like lingere! So i’ve just told him, I’m going to wear this sometimes to feel sexy, and I need you to go with it. We have a similar compromise with makeup (he likes me “natural” but makeup makes me feel pretty!). I try to go without makeup–or low makeup–when I know he’s the only one who will see me, since it’s what he likes. But I wear all the makeup I want when we go out, because it’s my face and my image.

    • I’ve slept in the nude a lot recently and have learned that I really like it. I’ve always hated to wear pajamas or a nightgown, anyway. I hate stuff around my legs, especially. Sleeping nude is lovely. Sleeping nude with a partner is lovely, too, I’m very sure.

  13. My wife went to the store and we bought some lingerie she picked out. Years later, it sits in the “lingerie vault” never used. It makes me want to cry just thinking about how unwanted that makes me feel.

  14. If its just a “fancy” set of bra and panties, its NOT lingerie. Its coming off. Perhaps this was your experience with conan? Wear lingerie you can have sex in without having to remove anything.

    • There is a huge difference between wearing lingerie that makes you feel sexy and lingerie meat to make someone else see you as sexy. I’m not a big fan of the second, at least it doesn’t work for me. No French maid outfits, unless that’s both people’s fancy. Now, if the woman thinks she looks hot (and she probably does), she *is* hot. Also, what about lingerie for guys?

      I haven’t seen lingerie yet that prevented sex. 😉

  15. When I Was Dating My WIfe, She Wore The Sexiest Lingerie, Heels And Outfits. Outside The Bedroom She Was Always Modest With ALL the Sexy Stuff Under Her Dress. She Wore Stockings, Garter Belts, Corsets, Matching Bras And Panties, Sky High Heels, Gloves, Chokers, Ribbons In Her Hair, Ruffled Ankle Socks. I Was In Heaven. It Was Everything I Ever Wanted In A Marriage.
    Got Married, Got Baptized, Went To The Temple Last Wednesday For The First Time. Last Night She Tells Me She Is Not Going To Wear That Stuff Anymore Because Of The Garments And That It Feels Wrong Wearing That Stuff Anymore aAnd She Doesn’t Want Sex Anymore. I Was So Angry Last Night I Could Not Speak To Her. I Tried But I Was Furious.What To Do……… Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

  16. Mike,

    No sex? What is her justification for this. Does she think it is sinful? Lingerie…. well, during private time together there should be no problems wearing what she feels sexy in. You need to get to the bottom of this and then help her understand that the Church teaches that sex is good and and an important part of loving marriages. We can help you with references/quotes if you need them.

    Good luck!

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