I recently talked to a 50-year-old woman who told me she didn’t even know what a clitoris was until she was 30 years old. As you can guess, she also didn’t orgasm up to that point, either. I asked her if the reason she finally had an orgasm was because her next husband knew about female anatomy. She said, no, it was an accident. We weren’t able to get into how she learned about the clitoris, or how her current husband learned about it.
I was appalled. How can a woman not know about her clitoris? Well, let’s see. Her mother didn’t tell her, it’s very likely her mother didn’t even know, herself. She apparently didn’t discuss such things with her girlfriends, either. She never read a Penthouse Forum or a steamy, graphically termed novel. She didn’t read a book like “The Joy of Sex”. She probably didn’t even read, “Are You There, God, It’s Me, Margaret” by Judy Blume, which was scandalous for mentioning female masturbation. Gasp!!! And she certainly didn’t discover it by accident through self exploration, the way I’m pretty sure many women do.
Then my bestie, Ms. Canon, who has commented here a total of one, yep, ONE time ;), reminded me that I was the one who told HER what a clitoris was. We were about 15, I think. There’s a story to that, an inside joke that wouldn’t be funny in the slightest to anyone but us. When she reminded me of it we laughed and laughed! And, yep, I did have to explain to her what a clitoris was. Even back then my favorite subject was sex! She is very thankful to me for that, uh-huh!
My daughter told me that the clitoris was discussed in her health class, too. It certainly wasn’t when I was in school. That part of the female anatomy might as well have not existed, at all! Why not? Because it has no other function that pleasure and orgasm? Scandalous!!! That a woman might know how to get an orgasm, and what part of her body is required, was as taboo as anything else. “You’ll find out when you’re married” obviously is not a good way of dealing with it!
How did I know my anatomy, you ask? Well, in all honesty, I cannot remember how I learned about the clitoris. I do remember how I learned about the rest of the female anatomy, though. Very simple. I read and studied the little diagram on the instruction paper in my mom’s tampon box. Yep. I used to look at it all the time.
I got to thinking, does my daughter know about her anatomy? I can’t remember telling her about it. So one day in the car I asked her, do you know what your clitoris is? Yes, Mom, you told me that already–awkward!!! She says to me. hee hee! I love embarrassing her. Well, you need to know these things, honey. I tell her. No I don’t, Mom, I’m only 13!!!
Well, she does need to know these things. All men and women need to know these things. Let’s make sure our kids know about their bodies and the bodies of the opposite sex. Hiding it, being ashamed and embarrassed, hoping they’ll figure it out, those things just don’t cut it as lots of men and women have learned the hard way.