Archive | December 2012

Was it Good for You?

One thing I think we all want is to know that our partner enjoyed themselves during sex.  And the obvious proof of enjoyment is the orgasm.  I THINK that for guys, even mediocre sex ends with an orgasm, even if not a whole lot else happens.  So we women think, oh, good, he got his orgasm, he’s happy, he enjoyed it.

For women, mediocre sex usually does NOT end with an orgasm, or begin with one, or have one in the middle, for that matter!   But your husband wants to know you’re enjoying it.  Probably hopes very much that you enjoy it.  But you’re just not into it tonight for whatever reason.  So…what can it hurt, it’ll make him happy…you fake it.

I went to my Bunco BFFs, of course, with this question:  Do you ever fake it and do you think faking it is okay?  The answer surprised me just a bit.  Every one of them said, they thought faking it was okay sometimes!  That it really doesn’t matter.  That it helps things along sometimes, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, etc.   Then half went on to say, yes, they faked it occasionally, and the other half said, no, they never faked it.

But what about your husbands?  I asked them.  What would they think if they knew?  The consensus was:  Oh, well, he might not like it, but what’s a girl to do?  He won’t be satisfied until I have an orgasm.  What if I’m tired, not into it, etc.

My opinion is this:  If you’re not going to O for whatever reason, enjoy the touching, the holding, the kissing, but NEVER fake it.  In the long run, you’re not doing yourself any favors.  Why not, you ask?  Because if he thinks what he’s doing is getting you to orgasm he will probably do it again.   And it’s not going to work next time, either!  How’s the poor man supposed to learn your body?   How’s he supposed to know what works?  And…you may think you’re just stoking his ego.  Well, if he ever finds out it will totally deflate his ego, not boost it!

What do you think, guys?   If your wife is just trying to make you feel all manly and studly, would you be okay later knowing she had faked it?  Worse, would you be okay with it if you knew she faked it just to get it over with?   Somehow I think the answer is going to be mostly “No, I would NOT be okay with that.  No way.”

So ladies, just don’t fake it.  And, guys, here’s my one bit of advice for you.  If you don’t want your wife to fake it, don’t pressure her to have an orgasm.  (This is assuming that your wife does orgasm most of the time, of course.)   I guess what I mean by that is, don’t make it the end of the world if she says, honey, it just isn’t going to happen tonight.   Let it be okay.

Oh–one more thing.  I recently read that MEN fake orgasms, too.  Really??  How?  Um, what about…the semen?  Okay, guys,  will you please explain how it’s possible and why a man would do it?  I’m clueless.