Okay, my friends, let’s try this again. I was having technical difficulties when this post mistakenly popped up half done the other day.
Today I was looking at the pictures I posted of me in my new, hot shoes. Do you think that I was just looking at the shoes and how hot they are? Well, no. I’m a woman, so here’s what I saw. “OMG, I need to vacuum that rug! Oh, no! My baseboard is all scuffed and needs to be cleaned! How embarrassing! Look at those floors. They could use a good wash and shine.” Then I went downstairs and physically looked at the walls, floors, and baseboards, and came to the conclusion that I need to go on the show Horders, Buried Alive, because omg, What A Mess!
Women can be very task oriented. We have A List. We have Thinks To Do. And we don’t understand why you guys don’t have the same priorities. Why can’t you guys see All There Is To Do? You want to do what? Wait, the dishes aren’t done! There’s laundry in the dryer! I didn’t vacuum today! I’m not ready. I can’t relax when there are dishes in the sink. So you talk us into it anyway, and we are trying to get into it but can’t shut the bedroom door on the dishes. They’re out there, as persistent as any child saying, “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom”, over and over, and they’re saying, “Come wash me, come wash me! You horrible housekeeper, you, how can you leave me dirty in the sink?? All this food is going to be stuck on me in the morning!” For all you ladies shuddering over leaving dishes in the sink overnight, and for my grandmother rolling over in her grave, don’t think I’m advocating it, haha! It’s just an example. In fact, it could very easily be something much less significant, like today’s mail. But it’s on The List, and it’s Not Done.
So we can’t relax and enjoy. Then we get resentful. “Well, if he cared for me one iota, he’d know I can’t do this when there are dishes in the sink. Oh, that man!” And our husband thinks, “Why would she want to do DISHES instead of sex? How can doing dishes possibly rate as a higher priority????”
Lots of people want all their ducks in a row before they do anything. Especially something that might be considered nonessential or even just for fun. For example, I have this cross stitch I’ve been working on. For 15 years. It sits there and mocks me, “ha ha ha, you’ll never be caught up enough work on me again, let alone finish me.” It’s the very symbol of my ineptitude as a housekeeper and a mother. Every time I see it I feel inadequate. Now, I would enjoy doing that cross stitch, but I’ve put it last on my list. I’ll do it after (insert multiple tasks here). I know what you’re thinking, well, she’s doing this blog, she must have some free time. Okay, so maybe I don’t LOVE cross stitching. Maybe I hate it. Did I just say I would enjoy doing it? I think I meant I would enjoy getting it done and then burning it. So there it is, half done, mocking me. Can any of you relate? I’d rather scrub toilets than work on that cross stitch. Better, I’d rather have sex 24/7 than work on that %!*# cross stitch. In fact, I’m going to go throw it out right now!
Okay, it’s in the garbage, but it’s screaming at me to get it out. Will power, I need will power! Moving on…where was I going with this??? I’m not sure–I’ll make it work somehow.
We have all these tasks to do during the day. And if we don’t do them, it’s just going to be worse tomorrow. And we are thinking, okay, after I get my list all crossed off, I’ll want to have sex. After everything is just right, then I’ll feel like I can relax and enjoy. Or even, fine, if I must put sex on my list, it’s going at the bottom of it. It can wait. Well, it really CAN’T wait. The thing is, the dishes the laundry, the mail, all those tasks are recurring. They’ll NEVER truly be done. Our List will never be crossed off completely. And the hour you could have spent loving your spouse can never be regained. I’ll do it later is not a good strategy for your love life. And just think–if you’re the person being put at the bottom of the list, under dishes, cleaning the toilet or going through the junk mail, how horrible that must feel!
There are just certain things that have to be prioritized. And sex is one of them. If your List is calling, calling, calling you, you’ve got to do your best to ignore it for an hour or so at least a few days a week. I think you’ll feel better for it! I mean, really, orgasm or dishes? Hmmm, that’s a tough one! Um, I’ll take the orgasms, thank you!
So ignore that stupid cross stitch yelling at you from the garbage! Oh! I mean the endless List of tasks we have. And spend some fun time with your spouse. If you have to put it on the list so that it’ll get done, put it on the list. At the top! That’s something you won’t regret.