I am having a crazy busy week this week (a girl has to work sometime!), and won’t be putting up any new posts until next week. Here are some of the topics in progress right now:
- Masturbation
- Passionate sex and the Law of Chastity
- Becoming multi-orgasmic
- “The other side of the coin”, a husband’s role in his wife’s disinterest in sex.
Thanks for your comments!
Sex and the LDS Woman 
You are doing a great job and that is a compelling lineup of topics. Just don’t burn yourself out by trying to do too much in a short time. My wife enjoys your essays as well. Good work!
Thanks so much!
I enjoy your comments. If I could give one piece of advice to LDS women about sex, it would be: don’t let guilt rule you, and you and your husband pray together to set your limits. (I guess that’s actually two rules). I wouldn’t give that advice to others (about pushing limits), but LDS women, on average, are so ashamed of sex (and in denial of it) that it’s contributing to signifant marital problems. Women, lighten up and try something new!
Growing up I was ashamed of my body, and totally out of touch with the power it has. I still remember my mom signing the waiver forms so that I wouldn’t attend the sex ed classes at school – in every grade. It was no wonder that when I left the house, I went nuts! as a result, pre-marital sex distorted my view of what sex was used for. The shame of any sexual act was a huge hurdle early on in my marriage. If I could council young women and newlyweds, I would declare that sex is great! – within the bonds of holy matrimony I finally learned that sex is not just sex – it’s intimacy. I still cringe at the phrase “making love” and I struggle with foreplay and afterglow. I’ve still have the ‘lets get this over with’ sex, mostly to please (appease) him. I’ve finally faced the fact that he’s much nicer when he’s sated. (and so am I). Thanks for this blog.
My thoughts on your upcoming topics:
For any type of meaningful relationship to grow – frank and regular discussions about sex and your needs are so important! Help the poor lad, he’s been erect since the age of thirteen!
Masturbation
I didn’t even know women could masturbate until my mid twenties. I was grossed out at the thought of it and couldn’t understand why anyone would want to! I discovered vibrators after my second child. That discovery saved my marriage! I’m so thankful my DH isn’t threatened by it! we use it during sex – I wouldn’t orgasm without it. I abhor the freaky penis shaped ones, but if that’s your thing… We started with the little hand held rocket that burns through batteries and have graduated to what I call the floor polisher – it’s so stinking loud! The hitachi magic wand rocks!.
As for masturbation, I never do it without his involvement. When he goes on road trips I masturbate and phone to tell him, it’s great foreplay! He got me a detachable showerhead and teases me often about whether or not I use it (in a very salacious manner…) Does the thought of masturbation weigh on my thoughts or disrupt my connection to the spirit? NO. Will I do it in front of him…rarely – the awkwardness (guilt) about my body is still a big thing (no pun intended)
Passionate sex and the Law of Chastity
I hope this doesn’t mean that people think exciting sex violates this commandment….. Meat and potatoes gets really awful if you eat it for every meal… ya know~? My DH was a virgin when we wed, but he’s a freak – and I love him for it. Do what feels right for you. Do what will enhance your sex life (toys!). If you try something and it makes you uncomfortable or feel shame – talk about it and don’t do it again.
Becoming multi-orgasmic
Your patience. His patience. (and a vibrator that has turbo)
“The other side of the coin”, a husband’s role in his wife’s disinterest in sex.
He doesn’t always know what his role should be – tell him what you want – do that love language thing and find out what will make you feel cherished and worshiped by him. If he wanted quickie style sex (his climax only) every time we had it, I’d begin to resent him and have very little interest in his pleasure.
Would you have a post about oral sex?
Thanks for your comments, Anne! They’ll give me something to think about as I write my posts.
I do have one post about oral sex “Gasp, swallowing!”, but it’s more about swallowing or not swallowing than anything. Hence the title, ha ha! I’m pretty sure we can talk endlessly about that subject, though. What would you like too see in another post on oral sex?
Did you already do your post on masturbation Anne was referring to? I couldn’t find it?
Hi Adrienne,
I’m working on it! I’ve had to put a lot of thought into it and the words aren’t flowing like they usually do. But it’s getting there.
Thanks for asking!
Okay, it’s up! I hope there is something worth reading in it.
I read this first and commented before I explored your site, so I have to find your swallowing article and get back to you.
I must say thank you because I so, so, so! agree with you that we mormons perpetuate a dirty cloud around sex and sexuality. I have talked about your site to multiple people since my DH sent it to me. I even talked to my 13 year old about the driver’s license! He thought it was apt.
One of your posts rebukes us women for thinking our husbands are impure beasts (paraphrase) because they desire sex. I appreciate the view that our husbands are expressing love with their bodies (of course his love language is physical touch! ug!) – I struggle with my attitude, so this was a timely reminder and slap on my wrist.
Reading something here daily should help me keep sex on my brain (a much needed thing).
I chuckled at your rrrrrandy post – if you’re writing so often about sex, it’s a sure thing its on your mind!
Thanks Anne! And thanks for telling people about my blog! I really appreciate it.
Zookie, thanks for linking to my site!
You’re welcome! I really like it.