Sex Toys

Conan and I had been married for a few years but didn’t have any children together yet (so I imagine I was between 21 and 23 or so) when we decided to take a trip up to Vancouver, BC for the weekend.  It was a lot of fun!  One of the most memorable moments up there was when we were sightseeing and decided to go into a specialty shop and look around.  And by specialty shop I mean SEX TOY Shop!  This was my first look at anything like that.  (I’d heard of vibrators, dildos and such before, but never seen any.  This was back in ancient times, remember, and there was no internet.)  I was soooo embarrassed!  Plus I was young enough to be a bit giggly and juvenile about it, ha ha!  Even so, I was fascinated with everything I saw there.  The two things that were burned into my brain were a dildo that was as big as my forearm and had a suction cup on the bottom of it so you could stick it on whatever surface and use it hands free!  And a swing with a dildo ON it!   W.O.W.  My eyes about popped out of my head everywhere I looked.

I have had lots of fun and laughs over the years talking about that hands free dildo with my BFFs, but never thought I’d actually ever get any kind of sex toy.  (I never have tried that hands free one, I’ll just tell you that right now!)

I did eventually get a sex toy.  I got a  hard plastic, turbo-shaped, purple vibrator.  It was interesting and fun solely because it was such a novel experience.  We tried it a number of ways but it didn’t really do a whole lot for me.  First of all, it was cold, and second of all the vibrations were pretty weak, in my opinion.  Later, we decided to try a different kind.  We got one that is like a Rabbit.  I don’t know if it is an actual Rabbit, I can’t remember that far back,  but it is shaped like a real penis, and it is made of squishy plastic instead of hard plastic.   It is also purple.  (Conan’s favorite color is purple.  Because of the U of WA Huskies!) Anyway, it has those little bunny ears that are supposed to rest on the clitoris and vibrate while you penetrate with the penis.  Once again, I didn’t like it.  It was cold, too.  And whatever nasty plastic they used to make the thing smelled horrible!  I just went and got it out of my drawer.  It still smells horrible.  And the little bunny ears worked about as well as me leaning up against the washing machine during the spin cycle, ha ha!  Meaning not at all.  Still, we tried it out several times.  We tried both of them together.  We got good and creative.   But they just didn’t do much for me.  I know other women love their Rabbits, but they just don’t work for my body.  Why do I even still have those things, you ask?  I really don’t know.  They just sit in the drawer year after year, hahaha!

Fast forward a few years, (I really have no idea how many) and I discovered the bullet vibe.   Conan and I talked about it and decided to go get one.  We got in the car with our new purchase and Conan practically begged me to use it right there.  I did.  He still remembers the street we were on.  Ummm, I kind of don’t, I was busy.  😉   Now, up until this point I was a one and done girl.   I was always soooo jealous of my BFFs, because THEY could have multiples without even batting an eye.  But no matter what we had done thus far, one was it for me.  But this night, with my new little bullet vibe, I had five, count them, five Os IN A ROW.  I fell in love with that little bullet.  It was my new best friend.   We wore the thing out and had to go get a new one.  We actually wore a couple of them out.

I’m so thankful for bullet vibrators because they taught me that I could be multi-orgasmic.  (I am happy to say that, now, if I was only having five or less I would be highly disappointed.)     It’s still amazing to me that one day I can only have one and the next day I can have several!

But something strange happened.  We got so that Conan could give me lots of Os with no need for the bullet vibe, and then the bullet stopped working for me.  I haven’t been able to figure that one out.  It would just buzz away, feeling pleasant, but not producing the same results.  Since we had just about worn it out anyway, I just threw it away and never replaced it.  I certainly didn’t NEED it anymore!

So now it’s been seven or eight years since I got my first bullet.  And last year I decided to try a new sex toy.  I didn’t do my research very well, but what I wanted was something that I could use hands free (No, NOT the one with the suction cup on the bottom!) during intercourse.  I sooo want to orgasm DURING intercourse.  So we purchased this:

It’s a bullet vibe that you strap onto yourself.  The theory is lots of great stimulation without having to think about it or hold onto it.  Once again, while the buzzing sensations are nice, it did NOT do the trick.  And can I just say I felt like a complete moron trying to get it strapped on, and once it was on I felt I looked ridiculous.  Anyway, sad to say, this didn’t work, either.  I even popped the bullet out of it’s little butterfly and tried to use it that way once, but it was a no go.  😦

A few months ago I learned about something called a Hitachi Magic Wand.  Hmmmmm.  I was intrigued.  I really liked what I saw.  I asked Conan if I could get one.  He laughed a bit at me but gave the okay.   It arrived not long before our romantic weekend in early November.

We took it with us.  This Hitachi is no joke.  The handle is about a foot long, so even though it’s not hands free it’s very easy to use.  The vibrating part is about the size of a tennis ball, which makes it simple to apply to the right spots.  It is not battery operated, it PLUGS IN.  It has two speeds.  The low speed will make you see fireworks and the high speed will drain the power grid and trip your breaker.  You will forget your own name.  How could I not have heard of this baby before???  It gets RESULTS.

I tried it through my jeans and within 60 seconds it blew me away.  Used against bare skin I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.  Conan commented later that he thinks I woke up everyone within a 10 yard radius. *blush*

I could not keep this to myself and so I told my BFFs all about my new toy.

That’s my experience with sex toys.   I still prefer Conan to any toy, but I’m super glad for those toys, just the same, and am looking forward to wearing out a few magic wands!

Tips:  I have recently heard about glass toys.  You can heat them up in warm water before you use them so they won’t be COLD!  Yay!  That’s going to be my next purchase when I get around to getting another toy.

Shop Erotic is a tasteful online shop and you can find just about anything your little heart desires there.  From lube and vibrators to whips, blindfolds and restraints.  Hmmmm.

Simply Sweet Marriage  is a good online store by LDS people and is a very nice site where you can get lots of good stuff.